Found myself :)

As  i grow older ; i become wiser. wiser in thoughts,charity, gratitude , emotions , ignorance and love. my thoughts straight up and align horizontally with no curves. from the last 5 years i was searching this : the wiser me ! and from the last 5 weeks i discovered that. i used to search love and happiness in others and materialistic things. i would like to share a story , i was 6 years old and my uncle gifted me a watch (In suhas language : the one from 3 idiots – A titan watch worth 3 thousand in the year 2000) And i loved that. unfortunately after 4 years it went missing. and i cried like a crybaby as hell. the main motto was to dictate how materialistic i was ?! to very ups and downs i found that being wiser and not materialistic makes me more happy. and my happiness is very important. i often share my views with my sister, i utter my entire nuisance thoughts and end the conversation with a simple statement – ‘no body loves me’ she is tired of explaining me everyone does.. its not like that. but the stubborn me wins the conversation everytime. my endless thoughts were on peak and my sister found a new way which helped me in being more wiser. she said ” okay. if nobody loves you, its completely okay. if nobody showers the love you want its okay. you are itself much more capable of loving yourself that you don’t need anybody for that love. you are itself so strong to have stuffs by your own that you don’t need anybody for that. you are itself very much in your own world that you don’t need anybody for saying my entire world is you”. she added we agree that you are a crybaby and a pampered brat and what you want is true zone of happiness with bunch of beautiful people giving and sharing love and love but don’t forget you don’t need to search them you already have some people who will be by your side no matter what and pamper you not because you like it but because they love you and with that you have your own love ; which is rare haa” ?! and these words made me realise how beautiful life is! may be i am not where i wanted to be but definitely i am happy than i was used to be !  happy in my own space.

people find me a little arrogant, rude and obviously bipolar because this is i am ! when i joined my college i was that human i wished for ; sweet, helpful, poised, calm, listener, appologetic. but i found peace in what i am . i am completely opposite of the one i mentioned above. i am neither sweet nor poised. i am not at all helpful. calm is not even in my dictionary. and i accepted myself the way i am. i distanced myself from the people who are not good for me , may be they are good for others or themselves but definitely not for me.

i choose to be wiser for myself by myself.

p.s – to all those who find its hard to love them and nobody understands their feeling and all stuff ; you are itself capable of loving your self and choosing yourself. although a strong headed person need someone but wait: timing matters.